why aldo hates us
Aldo
Our Biggest Fan
first let me
tell you about myself. my name is aldo arias and i first and
regretfully became musically involved with dave in a lil band
called Raping Billy Goats. myself, dave, and babb thoroughly
embarassed ourselves and i am forever shamed by affiliating
myself with dave's music career.
anyway, dave's music is all reeky. he'll play it and the whole
time you think "yeah this could be cool if he could sing a
little better" which will lead to "and if he could play
better" and then to "there's no point in being able to
play and sing if this is what you are singing" which then
goes to "maybe if Axl covered this song it would kick
ass" "if he covered it and rewrote the lyrics"
followed by "if axl covered it and got back together with
slash, who would then redo the music" and then this can lead
anywhere. i ended up with "this song would rock if only dave
was replaced by axl and slash who would play a different song and
axl was doing a duet with rory from the impossibles and i got in
to see the show, even though it sold out"
in conclusion, dave is really good and he reminds me a lot of
milli vanilli, who had similar aspirations of musical stardom. i
quote the VH-1 behind the music special when i say,
"the only thing standing in rob [dave] and fab's [dave's]
way was a total lack of any musical talent."