ROBMAN
Robert Reid sprang spontaneously into being on November 15th, 1980. He had to do this because no human woman on this earth could possibly contain his awesome majesty. Nothing short of a kryptonite lined womb would withhold his power from breaking out. He had mastered nuclear physics, nuclear chemistry, and nuclear biology by the age of two. By his fourth birthday he was considered a master of all the arts, including ninjitsu but excluding judo for it is the wussiest of all martial arts.
He can defeat an army of a thousand samurai and still come home and cook a five star meal. He truly is a modern day renaissance man. When he’s away from his day job as the head of NASA he likes to relax by driving his NASCAR racer or flying his personalized SR-71 around the world at ten times the speed of sound.
He is considered the top bullfighter in Spain. He doesn’t use a sword, just a spork, and he bullfights nude with only a red cape, so that all may marvel at his chiseled Greek physique. He is also ranked number two in the world in racquetball. His returns have enough velocity to rip half a mans face off. He is only number two because after he ripped half a mans face off he skipped the championship round so that he could personally reconstruct his fallen opponents face. (Our hero, the Robman, is also a liscenced M.D.)
An avid humanitarian, this God-like being known as Robert Reid has donated trillions to the Starving Ethernopian fund led by Sally Struthers. He owns four states, 8 third world countries, three-second world countries, and Canada – which he is desperately trying to sell. What else can be said of this being of utter perfection?
To find out, go to your local priest, ask him to describe God. In his response you will find everything about Robert Reid that you need to know. Except for power of the cosmos – although Robert is like unto God, he is still only one great, great man.